What do you justify to yourself?


You don’t have to think about things too much!

You cant complain ‘too much’.

All these things we say to JUSTIFY why we aren’t moving forward or getting to where we actually want to be, in an ‘ideal situation’ (another excuse). Maybe you don’t even know where to begin in order to change your situation? Its never the right time, you will have to create the ideal situation.

I want to encourage you to stop predicting the future! but start asking yourself, WHAT IF… what if things could be different?

The taxi driver said to me last week, ‘don’t get old’!! Ironic, as we have no choice, but I love hearing things like this as its a huge awakening, these little messages that appear whether its things we read, here, see is always a little message or guidance to say, hey wake up!!! We get one life remember?

My vision is to stop unnecessary suffering. To help people to understand there are choices and there are options out there.

Imagine your mind is functioning on Windows 95! You have been going through life, with what you know up until now, your own experiences, what the adults around you knew and what they taught you and you are making decisions based on that program! No upgrade still Windows 95. Then you throw Windows 2018 in, what will happen to your mind? It will just crash! Because you cannot make decision with both systems in your head. You have to clear out the weeds, clear out anything that has happened between then and now, to help you gain a better understanding of your experiences and why you made certain decisions so you can upgrade and make sustained changes.

What is going on in your mind and how you have got to where you have got to now?

Its heartbreaking to hear that people have suffered with anxiety their whole life. Anxiety is a fear of the future, unknown, uncertainty, you are worrying about things that haven’t even happened but your mind has such a huge imagination it creates this fear that permeates your whole body preventing you from taking action!

We come from a generation where most parenting and education systems were incredibly strict!

You could have had a moment where you thought, ‘nothing I do is actually right’. Parents would say ‘don’t do that, who do you think you are?, is that appropriate?’, why are you doing that?. They as parents had an understanding that they had to impose their parental knowledge, whether its right or not, but their way was seen as the right way.

They believed by being this way they were doing their best, being strict was encouraging us to grow and follow form, but from the language they used, some beliefs that can be taken on are, ‘I am not good enough, I’m doing it wrong, I cant get it right, they don’t love me, I am not loveable’.

We then start to create a belief in our mind about that experience. That belief stays with us our whole life unless we challenge it or create a new belief. If we think something often enough it becomes a habit and we think it unconsciously. In most cases parents and teachers didn’t have intentions to harm us with the way they spoke and language they used.

However as adults we continue in our lives with a level of uncertainty, questioning whether what we are doing is right, because we are second guessing ourselves, we don’t always believe in ourselves, because we seek acceptance, we seek approval, we can then not trust ourselves to make the right decisions. This leads us into confusion. As we have no idea what these emotions are, why do we feel stuck, why are our relationships struggling, why are we attracting chaos, bad habits into our life, self sabotaging, staying in a job you hate. We decide to live this way because of our belief system.

There are people out there that are seriously struggling with managing their emotions, managing life, getting balance with their relationship, parenting children as well as dealing with problems. I want to encourage people to not just exist, challenge your auto pilot and to think, ‘hang on a minute there are people out there changing their lives, investing in themselves, there must be something in this’.


You can read books, feed your mind, gain an understanding of where you are now. You will need some support, some guidance to help you change. You cant behave and act a certain way for 10, 20 plus years and expect change to come easy. You cant challenge your own beliefs the way someone else can.

You can only think from your current mindset, based of your experiences so far and that can limit you with how you move forward. Often you cant see the wood through the trees you become blind to the problems as you get used to it. You could be living an unhealthy lifestyle, an abusive relationship, constantly arguing about money in front of the children or working too much.

Whatever it is, are you happy and what sort of life are you accepting?

You are intelligent enough, unique enough, strong enough to change your situation. If someone else has a life you want, you can have it to. Its time to be honest. Life should be happening for you.

We aren’t used to expecting to get what we want, so we don’t try, through fear of failure or maybe even fear of success. Never give up to living your best life.

Reach out and message me, I you love to hear from you and to help.

Claire ParishComment